Ellen Gilchrist Quote

"We cannot get from anyone else the things we need to fill the endless terrible need, not to be dissolved, not to sink back into sand, heat, broom, air, thinnest air.

So we revolve around each other and our dreams collide. It is embarrasing that it should be so hard.

Look out the window in any weather. We ae part of all that glamour, drama, change, and should not be ashamed.

- Ellen Gilchrist

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a scare

the edges of a bathroom

the sweet rhyme of a paper hospital gown

flattened, padded with everyone’s unease at your unease

let’s pretend to be honest

this is how you pretend it didn’t all happen

but it did

and now there is no going back, only forward

marching in place

one, two, three, four

this condition is not like dying or death

it is like a white flower

something to get lost in

something to bury the flesh of your desires

this condition is more like the guilt

you carry in your mind

like a schizophrenic

puffing up and pushing against the inside of your skin

except no one knows what their own skin feels like on the inside

until it hurts

random words that came to me while riding the bus

Everyone admires my boyfriend
because he gets stuff done
himself with no help
from anyone.

I've always been attracted
to that sort of man;
the one that gets stuff done
with his tongue,
his hands.

The scream in his throat
and the fear in his heart,

that's my man,
mine,
my heart

5:30 p.m.

The office empties
and the sun
shines brighter
through the open window.

The wind
breathes fall
through the leaves of the trees.

A train caws against the rail.
A tree swallow calls out
to the clock that tick
tocks away time.

I finger my button
in a circular motion.

The time has come.
The time has come.

July

The sun got lost today
This day in July
This day that is summer
This day in Portland
Everyone wears shorts
Or dresses
In the rain
This summer day