Thursday, August 4, 2011

a sensitive bore

ok. I have a confession to make. I am a very sensitive girl. No. Seriously. I am extremely sensitive. Despite the fact that I am, on certain occasions, able to muster a pair of cojones, I am severely sensitive.

For some reason, I have managed to hide this from most people I know- even those that know me very well.There are many more like me out there. The problem is, we are well-schooled in hiding our true selves- making it difficult for us to identify one another. Disguised as semi-extroverts, we are, at our core - extreme introverts.

And so the other day when an acquaintance decided to try and "talk above my head," I froze. Paralyzed, I lost myself for a moment in time. My mind went blank. I lost myself, and let others try and explain my work to me.

Whew. What a waste. And, as this all transpired in front of me, I was unable to answer for myself. Instead, I remained mute, when in fact, I had something to say.

And so, as I reflect on my moments of paralysis - often viewed by others as a lack of understanding (which is sometimes very true - I'm not that smart!!!), I am reminded of a few songs that express the nature of my sensitive nature.

One, is Jewel's song "I'm Sensitive" on her album, Pieces of You,  and the other is "Peach Pear Plum" on Joanna Newsom's album, The Milk-Eyed Mender.

I found Jewel's album, Pieces of You, during one of my usual raids of my older brother's CD collection around 1995/96. I remember listening to the CD over an over around the the 4th of July.

I discovered Joanna Newsom upon my move the New York City. My roommate (now a close friend) was prone to blasting her music where we lived.

Without talking, in parallel universes, a bedroom apart, during steamy, summer Spanish Harlem nights in an apartment with no AC circa 1996 we listened to her music floating in an out of the windows.

Thought of the Day: To all the sensitive souls out there - stay true. In the words of Jewel, "it doesn't take a talent to be mean"




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